Bill Hirsch      
Phone: 718.428.5167   
Fax: 718.631.2099   
Cell: 516.356.6678   

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NOW HEAR THIS!!! A lovely distaff trifecta of Trackmen Racing Stable XXII partners recently joined NYRA/NBC/Triple Crown race caller Larry Collmus in his Saratoga Race Course cubicle. The lucky ladies are, left to right, Lisa Neary, Cindy Spence and Karen Bali. Adding to the unique experience, all these first-time starters are local Saratogians. And judging by everyone's smile, a good time was had by all! As an afterthought before the visitors left the booth, Ms Cindy put a bug in Larry's ear: he may get to call our now 2-year-old racehorse, Tap City, in the Kentucky Derby next May...

PROUD MEMBER: Veteran TGCer Rick Warren, a retired CPA from Coram, NY, deserves kudos for being accepted for membership into the Princeton University Alumni Club of New York. Rick boasts, "You ought to see the Country Clubs I can now play through Princeton...Fairways to Heaven!". Congrats to good guy Rick...

CHESTER “THE SAND MAN” BROMAN TOPS TWO LISTS: Veteran TGCer Chester Broman is the top Thoroughbred Breeder and Owner in New York for 2014! His powerful racing stable recorded 44 wins for earnings of $2,364,409, which led all other NY owners for the racing year 2014. And Chester's homebreds were victorious in 59 races in the Big Apple for total earnings of $2,459,092. Congrats to our fellow Trackman! Chester is the president and founder of Broman & Sons, Long Island’s largest sand and gravel business…

And....LADY TGCer LINDA RICE AT THE TOP: At the New York Thoroughbred Breeders Inc. annual awards banquet, conditioner Linda Rice was named New York Trainer of the Year for 2014. The attractive conditioner, who trains two runners for our Trackmen Racing Stables: Handsome Alex and Ziggy Moondust, was THE leading trainer of New York bred horses in NY for 2014 by earnings. Her runners made 271 starts with NY breds who finished with 47 wins, 53 seconds, 40 thirds for total earnings of $3,461,336…

CLUB CHAMP: Congrats to veteran TGCer John Kernell on winning the 2013 Club Championship at his golf club, Montauk Downs, in Montauk, NY. Sixty-six golfers teed off in pursuit of winning the "Club Championship" in their respective flights. Under perfect weather conditions and a Montauk "breeze", the "Beauty" & "Beast" of "The Downs" was presented to the competing players. The slick, yet very true greens were both a pleasure to play and a cause of great angst for most. Add tight fairways, waving fescue and you had the perfect combination of what makes "The Downs" one of the most special courses in the country. John competed in "Flight A" and had a gross 82

ITALIAN GETAWAY: TGC'er Charlie Colan and his lovely wife Rose certainly know how to travel first class...they recently completed a grand vaction thru the South of Italy! In his own words, Charlie reports: "Rose & I, along with our good friends Janice & Bob Piracci, spent two weeks in Italy in June. The first week was in the beautiful city of Positano. We stayed in a wonderful 12 room family run hotel called the Royal Prisco. Our room and very large terrace overlooked the Mediterranean. Fabulous for cocktail hours. Lots of opportunities to visit the Amalifi coast. The picture attached was taken during our trip to Capri. We then drove to join Bob's brother and family in the village San Gemini located in southern Umbria, where we spent a week in a 15th century villa located on the top of a hill overlooking the village and surrounding countryside." It doesn't get any better than this: bravissimo to the Colans!





BILL & MARY LAS VEGAS DIARY: Mary and I recently took a 4-night, 5-day trip to Sin City, NV, where "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". We bedded down at the new Octavius Tower at Caesar's Palace Hotel & Casino. We had dinner at 4 restaurants where the original flagship restaurants have outposts at Caesar's: Rao's, Old Homestead Steak House, Joe's Stone Crab and Nobu. The highlight and main reason we went to Vegas was to see my dear friend of over 45 years, thoroughbred horse owner/composer extraordinaire, Burt Bacharach. The multi-Grammy award-winning iconic artist performed one night in Vegas at the Smith Performing Arts Center downtown. It was a fabulous show! Burt arranged choice seats for the concert and invited us back to his dressing room after the show and told us some great olde racetrack stories. We had a super time and returned home to the tune of   plus $40!...

OBAMA CARE PACKAGE AFFECTS DEMOCRATIC TGCer: Now that the general election is over, President Barack Obama has sent word to the law firm Robinson & Cole LLP that, due to his master plan to "redistribute wealth", 10% of Robinson & Cole LLP's Senior Partner attorney Jim Wade's $600 hourly fee will be earmarked for the poor and less fortunate, namely Republican TGCers Bill Hirsch , Steve Humphrey (who also is a Robinson & Cole Senior Partner), Jay Lieberman and Steve Tomaselli, just to name a few. In other words for Lawman Wade, "You're pretty much screwed" and "Where should we set up the escrow account?"...

EQUINE INSURANCE: TGCer Alan Quartucci, president of North Shore Bloodstock LTD, handles all three of the TGC Stables' insurance needs. You can call Alan at 212.421.0043 to receive his highly professional services and deeply discounted rates he extends to all TGCers...

WINDOW SHOPPERS: Looking for that unique gift? The exclusive Trackmen Golf Club Stable racing silks pin is hand-crafted for our stable and is quite exquisite. We hope many TGC Stable partners will order their silks pin and wear them proudly on their lapels. For more info, contact me...

NOW AVAILABLE: Custom-made TR Stable shirts are now available in any size and color! We take shirt orders once a month; the next wave will be in time for the Holiday season...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANUARY FOALS: We have an exceptionally distinguished and glittering group of TGCers who will attempt   to blow-out a whole lot of JANUARY birthday lights: Lois Engel (39), Monte Engler (75), Terry Finley (53), Don Larkin (69), and Keith Tingberg(54)...The Social Security Administration would like to remind ageless Birthday-Boy Terry Finley you turn page #62 in just 9 years and can collect Social Security checks... And Mr.Monte Engler, would you like some help blowing out all your SEVENTY-FIVE  birthday candles?...

THE PRICE IS RIGHT: Looking for that something special  item? Make shopping a lot easier by purchasing your gifts and/or services from various fellow TGC businessmen. Glance through the TGC Business to Business Directory which has its own page on our TGC Website. Some anytime gifts can be found from Blair Beach's BHS Industries where there is a bevy of pewter gifts; for specialized treasures, John Herzberg's Flagdown Auto Accessories or...don't forget TGCer fashionista Andrew Rosen, President of the extremely popular Theory line of clothing. And what about Jim Sheridan for all your jewelry and watches? And for the gourmand, try Bobby Chez' delectable crabcakes. If you want to really splurge and buy your spouse a much-needed face lift or a tuck here or there, call famed plastic surgeon Dr. Richard Coburn's NY City office. If you want to buy that special new home for someone, call Frank Pagano's Corporate National Realty office on Long Island. And if you want to rennovate or construct your home /office, contact Steve Tomaselli, owner of Tomaselli Construction in Brooklyn, NY. Like to dine out during the holidays? Restaurant gift certificates can be purchased from Bob Lee for his family's Wishing Well Restaurant in Saratoga Springs or call Sergio for gift certificates to either one of his two restaurants; Spolini's in Kew Gardens or Sergio�s in Saratoga Springs. What to buy a racehorse or broodmare for that someone special in your life? Contact Alan Quartucci's North Shore Bloodstock LTD or Lois Engel's Pucker Ridge Farm in Warrensburg, NY. How about considering a share in a racing partnership from either Matt Gatsas' Sovereign Stables or Terry Finley 's West Point Thoroughbreds? Of course that would be a last resort after first contacting my, Bill Hirsch, Hirsch Thoroughbred Management, LLC for a share in any of our Trackmen Golf Club Stable partnerships. Don't forget your home and office needs from Jim Ponte's Harris Printers or for all you haute couture lovers, contact Mickey Frome for art treasures from his Frome Studios. Unique/hard-to-find gifts are available from Peter Kahn's Bigg Lugg. And if you need an attorney to stave off the after-the-holidays collection agencies, contact Monte Engler's Phillips Nizer, LLP or Robinson & Cole LLP's senior partners Steve Humphrey and Jim Wade. If your feet get tired from walking around all those malls, be sure to visit Dr. Tom Barbaro's podiatry practice... and if your eyes get sore from looking at all the Christmas lights, head on over to Dr. Cono Grasso's office in Queens, NY; he is the official Ophthalmologist of the TGC. And to make sure your precious gifts and/or papers arrive on time, call John Kernell and get a gift certificate from his All Systems Trucking & Messenger Corporation. These are a just a few of the many TGC businessmen that advertise in the TGC B to B Directory; and all offer huge discounts on their professional services to fellow TGCers...

JUST ASKING? Which TGC member, who is a major business mogul, was so humiliated by his embarrassingly slim manhood, he underwent surgery to substantially expand his girth? We hear it dramatically improved his performance in the sack...

THEORY BIGWIG HITS THE BIG TIME: Haute Couture Fashionista Andrew Rosen recently attended an exclusive cocktail reception in NY City with President Barack Obama. BTW, Theory is a very popular brand of modern/contemporary clothing for men and women sold in all the major department stores throughout the world. It is now reported that this "wealthiest TGCer" has plunked down a hefty $12.5 million for new digs; Andrew bought a penthouse apartment in downtown NY City at 130 W. 12th Street which is the "now" swanky apartment building address at the former St. Vincent's Hospital building-turned-condos. Andrew's family raced two very famous racehorses under the direction of Andrew's late father Carl Rosen, president of the Puritan clothing empire. The two champions were Chris Evert and Chief's Crown, winner of the inaugural Breeders's Cup Juvenile. Andrew races a sizeable stable of horses in both Europe and the US. His NY-based trainer is Hall of Famer Shug McGaughey.

ITALIAN STALLION'S TRIP TO ITALIA: Italian Stallion TGCer Dominick Sansotta recently returned from a vacation trek to his homeland, Italy. In his own words he describes his sojourn to this writer, "Positano was unbelievable and our favorite city. I started at a small country village called Introdacqua and celebrated my friend's father's 80th birthday with many people in the town. BTW, I managed to get my Pick 4 bets in with my buddies for Travers Day. Best gelato and cappuccino on my whole trip was from Spillo's bar in this town. Spent next 3 days in Positano at Hotel Buca do Bacco! Fantastic hotel, fantastic terrace overlooking the coast! Pictures do not do Positano justice and the pictures are beautiful. Had my best dinner at Le Terrazze in Positano. It may not sound tempting, but but I ordered the following appetizer and it was delicious: Calamaro ripieno di verdure e gamberi con purea di porro e gel' di cetriolo....in English: Stuffed squid with vegetables, shrimp, leek puree, and cucumber. Let's face it, we're from NY so we are used to good food. The food just seems a little "fresher" there. Simple but very tasty. Favorite pasta I had was: tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe. The pasta is super fresh everywhere. I ate the best prosciutto I ever had and the tomatoes were dark red and super sweet. I drank the house wine most places and that was delicious. Espresso and Limoncello everywhere too. Surprises: the pizza was more like American pizza than I imagined. More people speak English than I expected (even in the little village). I missed filtered water the most (everything is mineral water over there). Finished the trip with 4 days in Rome. Some great restaurants there. Good wine, but the highlight of Rome was the Vatican (though I could probably have stayed a month and still not have had enough time to see the history and sights of this ancient city). I left my oldest daughter Gabrielle in Rome to finish her last semester of college at John Cabot University (my house is back to "normal" again). If you ever know anyone going over, I have a great driver in Rome who is very reasonable. He brought us to each place we visited. Set up reservations for tickets and tours. He had great recommendations too. It was a trip fantastico ...

LADY TGCer ON PLAYBOY MAGAZINE COVER: Lady TGCer Linda Rice, still counting her impressive career win total of 1,281 victories SO FAR, will be featured on the cover in an upcoming issue of Playboy Magazine. Ms Rice will be wearing nothing but a Shadow Roll and a Figure 8 as detailed in this picture. (Btw, both items are available in her tack room to use on her race horses as well). Hugh Heffner, the president and founder of Playboy Magazine, has also sent Linda an exclusive invitation to his Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills, CA, for his fashionably risqueé Playboy Winter Time Party. The tres chic  Linda, a frequent visitor to the Winner's Circle, is thinking about which costume to wear and she would appreciate any ideas/suggestions from fellow TGCers...BTW, here is a link to another article on our lovely AND talented trainer, Ms Rice, courtesy of TGC stable partner John Abato...


GET HTM TO MANAGE YOUR STABLE: HIRSCH THOROUGHBRED MANAGEMENT, LLC Bill Hirsch, Manager, specializes in Full Thoroughbred Stable Management, Auction Sales Representation, Pinhooking, Private Purchases, Transportation & Insurance, Racing & Sales Consultation and Superior Customer Service. Hirsch Thoroughbred Management brings 35 years of experience to the starting gate from a family with Hall of Fame credentials; Hirsch was a successful trainer for over three decades on the NY/FL circuits. Current racing stables under Hirsch Thoroughbred Management include 3 Trackmen Racing Stable LLCs, Genesis Stable, Wade Racing Stable LLC and Quindecim Stable LLC, in addition to several private ventures. Whether you are new to the industry or a current participant, Hirsch Thoroughbred Management can assist you in many ways. Please call 516.356.6678 or email us to discuss your options. From Bloodlines to Finish Line, we have a life-long experience in getting YOU to the Winners' Circle!

MUCHO MATZO MAN: Rookie TGCer Aron Yagoda, 46, is the third generation at the helm of Streit's Matzo in lower Manhattan, NY. Aron is CFO over the largest and oldest matzo company in North America: Streit's - The Kosher Grocer Since 1925. He is a neighbor of ours as a resident of North Shore Towers in Floral Park, NY, and was recently written up in our complex's monthly publication, the Tower Times. Here is its link. Aron is also in the horse business as an owner, breeder and pinhooker...


PICTURE PERFECT: TGC'er Jay A. Lieberman's Sabellina wins the 2004 Yaddo Stakes at Saratoga! This exciting Oil on Canvas, 40" x 30", proudly graces the Lieberman den. Want to capture your favorite runner, landscape or subject on canvas? Then your best bet may be TGC'er/Artist Mickey Frome who specializes in fine art paintings in oil and acrylic. Frome Studio also works with Photorealism, Web Design, Computer Graphics and Equestrian Photography. For more information and to check out some of Frome's previous work for other TGC members, go to Frome Studio. And just recently Mr. Frome has added another dimension to his repertoire: custom-made graphic Tee-Shirts. Click here for some samples!

2015 BOARD MEMBERS: Veteran TGCers Lois Engel, owner of Pucker Ridge Farm in Warrensburg, NY, and Chester Broman, owner of Chestertown Farm in Chestertown, NY, have been elected to the Board of Directors of the NY Thoroughbred Breeders, Inc (NYTB)...

TRAVELING TGC'ERS:
Charlie Colan, a retired Nassau County cop now in the travel industry, will be vacationing in Italy with his lovely wife, Rose. Charlie adds, “I will be in Livorno on Preakness Stakes Day”… Retired New England judge Dennis D’Arcangelo of Clarksburg, MA, decided he had enough of the "white stuff" and packed his bags and headed south to Sarasota, FL, for a warm vacation…Likely because of the same reason Lady TGCer Cindy Spence, from Saratoga Springs, NY, spent a few weeks in the oldest city in the USA, namely St. Augustine, FL. She was there for her “39th “ birthday…Q-Tipped TGCer Steve Humphrey, a retired CT consigliore, just returned from a vacation at his Time Share in Cabo San Lucas. When this writer asked Steve what he did there, he responded, “I played a lot of golf, drank a lot of beer and tequila and laid around the pool. It was a great time!”… Rookie Lady TGCer Karen Bali, who bought into our latest Trackmen Racing Stable XXII partnership that owns Handsome Alex, recently vacationed in Aruba. She was lucky enough to be there during the blizzard that hit the Northeast in January. Karen adds, “My flight home was canceled and I had (aka r got to) spend an extra day in Aruba. I played a lot of golf, went to many happy-hours and had a great time”. Karen is a LPGA Assistant Golf Professional at Simsbury Farms Golf Course in Simsbury, CT… Veteran lawman / TGCer James Wade and his enduring wife Lainie celebrated their BIG 5-0 Anniversary in fine Irish style, traveling over to their beloved Ireland for some quality time of bliss together... Another veteran lawman / TGCer Monte Engler and his charming wife Joan are at their winter home in Palm Coast, FL. They bought a place at Hammock Dunes near St. Augustine last year. "We loved it. We are on the 10th hole of a links golf course about 300 yards from the ocean. Our dog is in heaven"... TGCer and Danny DeVito look-alike Jay Lieberman and his lovely wife Dean will soon take off for a well-deserved vacation to Europe. Jay, a CPA, always goes on vacation after tax season. He plans to visit Vienna, Prague, Innsbruck, Munich, Salzburg and Budapest... Lady TGCer Naima Kradjian, a Thespian, and her charming hubby Ara took a winter vacation to the sunshine state where they visited Bradenton and Jupiter. Naima is the CEO of the Goodwill Theater in Johnson City, NY. FYI, a Thespian is a practitioner of theater arts... Veteran TGCer Jay Nolan traveled halfway around the world to Tokyo and Saipan. When this writer asked Jay, who is from West Hartford, CT, what he was doing over there, he replied, "Visited a kid who works in Saipan and did some touring on the return trip"... Noo Yawk diamond dealer Jeff Crohn recently made his first ever trip to south Florida. Jeff stayed at the Williams Island home of a client. He took in the racing action Friday at Gulfstream Park. Jeff exclaimed, "Never been to this area before---I feel like a fish out of water"... The Young & Old: Veteran TGCer Jim Wade, 75, and rookie TGCer Nick Ayiotis, 31, both recently vacationed in Florida, The Sunshine State. Attorney Wade was on the left coast in Naples where he said the weather there was "colder for the five days I was there than back in his my hometate of Connecticut". Youngster Nick was on the east coast in South Beach with all the hipsters. After 5 days of chilly weather, he went onto St. Kitts in the eastern Caribbean� Lawman TGCer Tom Ferreri and his lovely wife Carol made a trip to the Big Apple tjhis Spring. Tom is a huge college hoops (basketball) fan so they ship up to Noo Yawk for the NCAA Big East Tournament. The lovebirds nested in NY City, saw a play, shopped til they droppped and hit some of City's finest eateries...Joined-at-the-hip TGCers Carolyn & Rich Dahab just returned from an extended 3-week vacation in Peru. Rich exclaims, "We flew to Miami and then went by ship through the Panama Canal to Peru. Then we went to Cuzco Machipiccu and Lake Titicaca by plane and train. We had perfect weather. It was fabulous scenery and ruins. There were so many highlights. Probably Lake Titicaca is probably the most beautiful place on earth. We ate like Kings & Queens on the ship and feasted on alpaca steaks which were terrific. Also there were hundreds of different kinds of potatoes"...Geek Squad cast-off Elliot Wells traveled to London, Frankfurt and Lyon for business... MIA (Missing In Action) Trackmen Golf Club (TGC) member Monte Engler, a crackerjack attorney with Phillips Nizer LLP in NY City, recently shipped out to the left coast in Seattle, Washington. The NY City resident visited his daughter who lives there and got to play golf at Chambers Bay, the site of the 2015 US Open. Chambers Bay is in University Place, WA, which is 60 minutes from Seattle. Monte has a 3-year-old colt named Chambers Bay in training with top NY trainer Mark Hennig. I wonder what par is for this colt?...

LINDA RICE ELECTED TO NYTHA BOARD: Lady Trainer / TGCer Linda Rice was elected to the Board of NYTHA (NY Thoroughbred Horsemen's Association) for a three year term. NYTHA is the recognized horsemen's organization for NY horsemen who race at Belmont Park, Aqueduct Racetrack and Saratoga Race Course. NYTHA has an excess of 5,000 members...



MISSING TGCer FINALLY SURFACES: Veteran TGCer Bill Hendershaw, 62, who has been a TGC member for over 15 years has been MIA (missing in action) all winter. He finally surfaced and checked in with us and we are happy to report that he is alive, but not necessarily well? Bill reports that he is now, "Unemployed, divorced and filed bankruptcy. Life starts again at 60 and I'm enjoying it!". Bill is president and CEO and founded Hydropro, Inc. in Lake Park, FL, a company which converts brackish and salt water into fresh water. Gulfstream Park Casino & Racetrack is/was one of his customers. The TGC has enjoyed many good times with Bill and we wish him all the best. I am buying a ticket on him that says he will land back on his feet right side up!...

62 TRIPS TO IRELAND: Veteran TGCer Jim Wade made his 62nd trip to Ireland! In his own words here is an explanation of his sojourn: "That number stretches all the way back to 1959, the year I graduated from college. I went over with an Athletics team and competed in track meets in Dublin and Belfast. I was hooked. Since then Ireland has introduced me to a number of the interests in my life. The first round of golf I ever played was at Ballybunion in the Southwest corner of the country when I was 55 years old. I have now played golf all over the world. But for the fact that I was introduced to golf in Ireland, I never would have been involved in the Trackmen Golf Club or the Trackmen Golf Club Stable. The first race horse I owned was an Irish thoroughbred named Dineson. He won three races in Ireland. We sold him at a pretty good profit to a gentleman from Hong Kong. He died on the track in his first race in China. And then there was Song of Africa, an Irish filly out of Azao. She was the horse that introduced us to the Horse Whisperer, Monte Roberts, because we couldn't load her in the gate. She was the first horse to wear a blanket in the gate to calm her down. She won a lot of money on the track and is still producing high priced foals for us. I have been to numerous rugby matches in Dublin where the game is played at the highest level. And on this trip I will be playing in an international golf tournament that I would never have experienced without first crossing the pond. So I like to say that for me Ireland is all about golf, Guinness, horses and people. I have never had a bad time over there. I guess I will keep on going". Jim boarded the plane to Ireland a little lighter after losing yet another bet to this writer on the Yanks-Red Sox series bet we have in every series the two teams play. I am of course the Yankee fan and Jim is the Red Sox lover...

ALBANY LAWMAN RETIRES: Veteran TGCer good-guy Ralph Miccio, 62, from Troy, Noo Yawk, recently retired. He also has a snowbird abode in West Palm Beach, FL. In his own words, he adds: "I was Special Counsel to the NY State Commission on Public Integrity. We advised and enforced concerning issues involving the Public Officers Law and the Lobbying Act. Basically we were the watchdog for state government ethics violations and corruption, except we had no authority over the Legislature only the Executive branch and lobbyists and their clients. The Commission is in the process of being replaced by another new similar body, but there are many doubts and questions surrounding its creation, purpose and probability of success. It is supposed to be functional by December but as of now the powers to be are having trouble finding new commissioners, maybe they have heard something!" Ralph is an avid racing fan who frequents nearby Saratoga Racecourse often during the racing season there. He has invested in several TR Stable partnerships including TR Stable XIX, LLC that had the 2-year-old NY-bred Pray for Rain in training at Belmont Park with Lady TGCer Linda Rice. Ralph wished Pray for Rain was in training with Linda's division at Saratoga because, "I was looking forward to mucking his stall and feeding him apples. I would work cheap"...

TROPHY WIFE: Did you know that we have a veteran TGC member who is married to Coach Don Shula's daughter? Yes it is true, TGCer Paul LaNoce is married to Coach's daughter Carrie. Paul attended all his father-in-law�s 80th Birthday parties last winter...


DOMINICK SANSOTTA IN HOT WATER: A temporary restraining order has been placed against TGCer Dominick Sansotta by all the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants in Noo Yawk. Apparently Dominick had taken advantage of their All-You-Can-Eat lunch special on day last week. When Dominick walked out the door of his hometown Cortlandt Manor KFC store, the manager had to close down for three whole days until they could get another truckload of chicken delivered. Dominick remarked, "It was definitely finger licking good!"...

TGCer TO RETIRE: TGCer Jay Lieberman, the shortest TGC member at 5 foot, 4 inches, has an innovative plan. Our paid informants report that Jay will begin taking steroids and will retire as a CPA and join the NY Knicks......

30,000 CRAB CAKES A WEEK: Rookie TGCer Bobby Chez, owner of Bobby Chez Crabcakes with seven stores all around Noo Joysey, sells an unbelievable 30,000 crabcakes a week! His business is upscale gourmet take-out stores with his jumbo lump crab cakes as his signature item. Be sure to checkout his website and on-line stores which cater to anywhere in the USA...



TGC Humor: Bill and Maria met on a singles cruise and Bill fell head over heels for her.
When they discovered they lived in neighboring cities only a few miles apart, Bill was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
Within a couple of weeks, Bill had taken Maria to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies and museums. Bill became convinced that Maria was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Bill took Maria to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Bill said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage."
"So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life-changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
Maria took a deep breath and responded, "Bill, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."
"Oh wow! I see," Bill replied. He looked down at the table, was quiet for a moment. Deep in serious thought he added, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."


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